Lazy Saturday

Continued from yesterday’s post, which itself is a continuation of Thursday’s post.

I think about those dreams and think about how awesome it would be to build that clinic. But then I think about the long and arduous road to get there. And I think about all the issues and problems about being a doctor in the first place. And I begin to question my desire to be a doctor. Is that really my dream? Or was it something that just sounded good? Or was it because I “dream big” and reach high because I want to fulfill my potential, but without really considering whether I would enjoy doing it? I think about the hours on the job and the stress of dealing with sick patients, and overall happiness. I currently enjoy working a “35 hour week” (actually it’s about 40 hours a week, like any other regular job, or more when I stay longer), but I still have a hard time finding enough time to do everything in the day that I would like to. And doctors have even less time! (Another reason I would prefer to run my own clinic than work 60 hours a week in a hospital.)

But before I get ahead of myself and worry too much about potential problems in the future (which may not necessarily affect me), I need to look at the “getting into med school” problem. And a big problem indeed it is, for me. One of the biggest faults of it is timing. The application season begins over FOURTEEN months before matriculation into the program. How much sense does that make? That means if I want to go to med school in Fall 2013, I need to have all of the application materials and documents and everything prepared by late May 2012.

Can I still apply this year? Yes and no. Yes, theoretically, if you look at the date. But in all practicality, no. And for various reasons. The biggest reason being that I wouldn’t be able to get the packet of recommendation letters written by my university’s “Pre-Professional Health Committee,” as I believe the due date for that has passed. But moreover, I would also have to refresh my MCAT knowledge, and take the test again. There are two test dates offered in Japan this year: June and August; neither of which allow enough time for me to review. Lastly, I haven’t had much volunteer experience relevant to medicine recently. So in order to wow the admissions committees and convince them to let a fun-loving late 20’s guy into their school, I would have to really bust my ass and prove to them that I want this, like I did with getting to Japan.

So what do I want? That’s the question of the decade; nay, century. Nay, millennium. I seem to never know what I want. Things here and there, yes. Dreams here and there, yes. And I’m fulfilling a lot of them simply by being here in Japan. I know my hobbies, and I know my interests. I love a lot of things. I have a passion for a lot of things. I have a burning desire to DO SO MANY THINGS. But I know that if I delve into medicine, that’s it for me; that’s it for those dreams. That’s it for those passions; I know that I would have to invest so much time and effort into medicine that I wouldn’t have the time or energy to focus on anything else. And perhaps that’s what has been preventing me from finally just going through with it all. My other dreams.

What are these other dreams? Find out next time, on ハロルドin Japan.

Word of the Day: 幸せ 「しあわせ」 “shiawase,” or “happiness.”